The Orb of Time: Part III - Return
by LDEJRuff
Summary: As Bertram has seized Stewie's Multiverse remote and used it to send our heroes across space, time and reality, it's up to our heroes to regroup, stop Bertram, and save the timeline.
1. Chapter 1

_The Orb of Time_

_Part III - Return_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 1 - Across Time, Space and Reality

* * *

><p>"Steve Cummings?" Brian gasped. "You managed to come to <em>our<em> universe? But what about your owner, Larry, and his son, Milt?"

"Don't worry, Brian," Steve assured. "They and Lois will be all right without me for a few days. Besides, I need a little time away from them anyway."

"So, why are you going to help us in defeating Bertram?" Stewie asked.

"I figured that, even though seven is a lucky number, eight may be enough to stop a diabolical genius," Steve answered. "So, what do you guys say? You need me on the team?"

"We'll think about it," Brian responded.

With that, they, Todd, Jasper, New Brian and Scott huddled. Vinny, however, was talking to someone on his phone.

"Hey, Ma," Vinny began. "You're not gonna believe this, but I'm light-years away from Leo, and am about to embark on an adventure with a group of canines and a baby. Yeah, I know it ain't much, but I'm gonna help them in the memory of Pops. Love ya', Ma."

Vinny then hung up and got back to the group.

"Okay, guys," he began. "What's going on here?"

Brian replied, "We're deciding whether we should let Steve join us in helping defeat Bertram."

"Yeah," Stewie agreed. "Steve looks like an okay dog."

"Are you sure we can trust him?" Scott asked. "He may be a spy working for Bertram."

"Nah, I've seen Steve before," Brian disagreed. "I saw him on those two pilot episodes Seth worked on before he did _Family Guy_."

"Well..." Scott replied, "all right. He's in."

The seven pulled out of the huddle and turned their heads to Steve.

"Steve," Brian began, "you're in."

Steve wagged his tail in delight.

* * *

><p>While the gang was getting ready to find Bertram and retrieve the orb, the baby in question sneaked into the Griffin house without Peter, Lois, Meg or Chris noticing. He then went upstairs to Stewie's bedroom, triggered the baseball bat, and grabbed the Multiverse remote from the laboratory.<p>

"Phase two of my ultimate plan complete," he whispered. "Soon, nothing, not even Stewie, can stop me."

"Think again, Bertram," he heard Stewie say.

Stewie was right behind him.

"Stewart," Bertram said. "I see that you have managed to get into your room undetected as well."

"That's right, and I'm not alone."

With that, the seven dogs have emerged from their hiding places and glared at Bertram.

"You fools are already too late!" Bertram exclaimed. "I have already grabbed the Multiverse remote from the laboratory. And there's nothing any of you can do to stop me."

"It's game over, Bertram," Brian replied. "Hand over the remote."

"Never!" with that, he pressed the big red button on the remote, with the orb of time over it, and from the remote, four portals have opened. "I have total control over time, and now, space and reality. Time to send the eight of _you_ out of my reach once and for all!"

Bertram cackled as the portals managed to suck our eight heroes in. Brian and Stewie, Jasper and New Brian, Todd and Scott, Steve and Vinny, all were sucked into the portals.

As the portals closed, Bertram declared, "At last! Victory is mine!" And he cackled.


	2. Chapter 2

_The Orb of Time_

_Part III - Return_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 2 - The Life of Brian Universe

* * *

><p>The portal Brian and Stewie were sucked into led them to the backyard of their house, and they landed face-down on the grass.<p>

"Huh," Stewie wondered when he got up. "Brian, it looks like we're home."

"Home?" Brian repeated as he, too, got up. "Why would Bertram send us home?"

"I don't know, Brian," Stewie shrugged, "but we must find answers."

"Brian, look out!" Stewie heard his voice shout.

"Brian, look out?" he repeated, confused.

They then heard the sound of crashing plastic, followed by a bunch of loud thudding.

"Uh-oh," Brian realized. "I think I know where and when we are."

"What are you talking about?" Stewie asked.

"Gaaaaah, Brian!" they heard Stewie's voice cry, alarmed.

They ran to the edge of the house near the front yard, and what they saw made them gasp in shock and sadness.

"Oh, my god," Brian said, voice trembling. "It's exactly what I feared. We're in the _Life of Brian_ universe!"

They saw this universe's Brian lie mangled and nearly lifeless on the road, with broken hockey sticks around him. He had just been run over by Justin Bieber's Benz.

"Oh, my god!" they heard Lois' voice cry out.

She and the rest of the family had rushed to Brian.

"Brian!" she continued. "Brian, can you hear me?"

"Holy crap," Peter said. "What the hell happened?!"

A squirrel ran up to Brian's body, kicked him in the face, and spat on it.

"That guy sucked," the squirrel reprimanded before running off.

Our Brian and Stewie dropped their jaws.

"My god, Brian," Stewie repulsed, "your body looks worse! Even more worse than when we saw the fat man passed out drunk the other day!"

**Cutaway:** Peter had just come home, drunk.

"Lois, I'm home from the clam and I'm horny."

Peter then undid his pants and went to sleep. Brian and Stewie came into the room and shared uneasy looks.

"Uhhhhh," Brian repulsed. "I hate to hear what the hell happened to _him_."

Back to Brian and Stewie near the edge of the house, watching their family look sadly at Brian's mangled body.

"I think I figured out what's going on, Brian," Stewie began. "Bertram must have separated us all in groups of two to put us out of his reach."

"Well how are we going to get out of here?" Brian asked. "We don't want to get caught."

"Or heard," Stewie added.

With that, the two ran back to the backyard, but this time, they had to sneak against a wall so they wouldn't be seen.

"Oh, this is horrible," Lois cried. "I'm calling an ambulance! Hang in there, Brian!"

With that, Lois ran back into the house to call the Veterinary Clinic.

* * *

><p>As soon as the Griffins and the ambulance left for the vet, it was safe for Brian and Stewie to come out of hiding. When they did, the squirrel that kicked Brian in the face was shocked, watching from a tree hole.<p>

"What the hell?!" the squirrel shouted. "I just saw that dog get run over! How can there be _two_ of him?"

* * *

><p>The two friends managed to get inside the house.<p>

"What the hell do we do now?" Brian asked.

"Only one thing we _can_ do, Bri," Stewie answered. "We must go to my room, get my Multiverse remote, and try to get back to and gather the others."

"But won't Bertram know what we're doing?"

"Trust me, it's for the best," Stewie assured, "right after we wait for the family to return."

"Why wait?" Brian asked. "I want to travel the Multiverse with you now."

"Patience is a virtue," Stewie answered.

"That's what you said about the materialization program," Brian reminded.

"Brian, please," Stewie halted. "I'd rather not be reminded of your becoming a robot at this time. It's all over and undone with now."

* * *

><p>The Griffins have returned home, brokenhearted. Their beloved canine family member has passed away at the vet. Peter, Lois, Meg and Chris have walked to the front door.<p>

"Guys, I'm gonna need a few minutes alone upstairs," Peter said. "I got to do, like, a sad yank."

Brian and Stewie have been watching the family return.

"Okay, let's go," Brian ordered.

"Wait, Brian," Stewie halted. "I need to see where this is going first."

They then saw this universe's Stewie throw away the broken net and hockey sticks into the trash.

"Stupid street hockey," this Stewie gloated. "I wish we never _went_ to that dump. Oh, this is all _my_ fault. I'm the one who had to throw away the damn time machine and... Wait a minute." It was when he realized something. "That's it! I've just got to rebuild the time machine, and then I can go back and save Brian!"

As soon as they saw him run into the house, Brian and Stewie hid themselves in the laboratory so they wouldn't be seen.

"Okay," Stewie began, _"now_ we can go."

With that, Stewie had activated the Multiverse remote, and both he and Brian teleported out of the laboratory, and out of this universe.


	3. Chapter 3

_The Orb of Time_

_Part III - Return_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 3 - Scott, Todd, and the Garden of Eden

* * *

><p>The portal Scott and Todd were sucked into led them to a garden. However, unlike Stewie and Brian in the <em>Life of Brian<em> universe, the two dogs landed on their feet. They began to wander around.

"Where in the world are we, Todd?" Scott asked. "It looks like some sort of garden."

Todd replied, "I guess this must be the place of creation."

"You mean, the Garden of Eden?" Scott asked.

"Yeah," Todd answered. "God told me about this place when I was in Heaven. He said that an unthinkable event caused whom would later be the unholy never to enter here."

"You mean," Scott gulped, "they're banned from the garden?"

"Yep," Todd replied. "And it's all because of that tree."

With that, Todd pointed to a tree in the middle of the garden. It was the tree of knowledge.

"What's that tree got to do with anything?" Scott asked. "It's just a tree. And we're dogs. We pee on trees all the time."

"The fruit of this tree," Todd replied. "Whoever eats the fruit will know right and wrong, and they will be doomed."

"Well," Scott began, "are there any _other_ trees in this garden?"

"Yes," Todd answered, "including the tree of life. Whoever eats the fruit of _that_ tree is given eternal life."

"Hey, look!" Scott pointed. "A woman! And why is she naked?"

"That's Eve," Todd answered. "She's the first woman on Earth."

The woman, Eve, had walked to the tree of knowledge. Her front (including her chest area) was covered with her long, blonde hair.

"_Something is calling me to this tree_," she thought. "_But I know I'm not allowed to eat the fruit of this tree_."

A four-legged reptilian creature emerged from the leaves of the tree. It was the Serpent.

"Come closer, Eve," the Serpent ordered in a seductive male voice. "The fruit of this tree will open your eyes, and make you feel like a goddess."

"But Adam ordered me not to eat from this tree," Eve feared as Scott and Todd hid in a bush. "For if I do, and disobey God, I shall die."

"Come now," the Serpent replied. "Do you really believe that nonsense? I've eaten from this tree," the Serpent lied, "and look at _me_. _I'm_ not dead."

Eve looked closer at the fruit.

"Oh," she awed, "the fruit _does_ look beautiful."

She picked a piece of fruit.

"See?" the Serpent began. "You touched it, and nothing bad happened. Now, taste it."

Eve did what the Serpent ordered. When she did, darkness filled the area for a few seconds.

"Uh-oh," Scott whispered. "This must be the unthinkable event you were talking about."

"Yes," Todd agreed, "but it gets worse."

"Eve, what are you doing?!" a man called, running to her. Like Eve, this man was naked. He could be seen from the bush with his private area being covered by the bush's leaves. This was Adam, the first man on Earth, and Eve's husband. "You know you're not supposed to eat that fruit!"

"But Adam," Eve assured, "look at me. You said I'd die if I eat this fruit, and I'm not dead. Here," she continued as she handed him the fruit. "Take a bite. You'll love it."

With that, Adam took the fruit from Eve's hand gently.

"Well," Adam began, "it _looks_ good."

Adam then took a bite, and again, darkness filled the area. He then gasped.

"Something's not right," he wondered. "I feel...strange."

"Me, too," Eve, ditto. "I feel...naked."

"Yes," Adam agreed. "So do _I_."

"Uh-oh," Scott feared. "I think I know what's coming next."

As soon as he finished, Brian and Stewie appeared behind him and Todd.

"Brian? Stewie?" Scott and Todd took noticed.

"What are _you_ two doing here?" Todd asked them.

"We've no time to explain," Stewie answered. "We have to gather the others."

"Yes," Brian agreed. "Let's go before God places judgment on the two humans."

With that, Stewie pressed the button on his remote, and all four disappeared from the bush and out of this time.


	4. Chapter 4

_The Orb of Time_

_Part III - Return_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 4 - Renaissance-Era Italy

* * *

><p>The portal Steve and Vinny were sucked into led them to an Italian city in the 1500's. They were wandering the streets.<p>

"Where the hell _are_ we, Vinny?" Steve asked.

Vinny replied, "I guess this must be Italy. Only, it's the Renaissance-Era version."

"What?" Steve said, surprised.

"It's just like that universe I visited with Brian," Vinny replied, reminding himself about the Christianity-free universe they visited. "Only, in that universe, Christianity didn't exist. But since it _does_ exist here, it inspired many pieces of artwork, like the Sistine Chapel, for example. Let's go, Steve."

"Where are we going?" Steve asked.

"To the Sistine Chapel."

As Steve followed him, he asked, "Is this like a history tour?"

* * *

><p>The two dogs have reached the Chapel. When they got inside, they saw a group of monks praying.<p>

"_Ciao_," Vinny greeted one of the monks in Italian. "_Il mio amico e io sono qui in un tour e voglio fargli vedere il soffitto dipinto._"

(Translated into English, it means "Hello. My friend and I are here on a tour and I want to show him the painted ceiling.")

The unsurprised monk allowed them passage. Steve was in awe of the many biblical scenes painted on the ceiling.

"Wow. It's just like in those history books I've been reading. This is amazing."

"Yes," Vinny agreed, "and it gets even better. Wait'll I show you some of Buonarroti's sculptures."

* * *

><p>Elsewhere in Italy, Brian, Stewie, Scott and Todd appeared in another street. Stewie still had his remote in his hand.<p>

"According to the remote," Stewie began, "this is where and when we'll find Steve and Vinny."

"Great!" Brian said, wagging his tail. "Soon, we'll be more than halfway complete."

"Yeah!" Scott agreed. "Then we can defeat Bertram, retrieve the orb and restore the timeline."

"One question," Todd wondered. "Where in Italy are Steve and Vinny?"

"I don't know, Todd," Brian shrugged. "But wherever they are, I bet they're looking all the artwork that inspired Christianity."

"Great idea," Stewie agreed. "It's probably best if the four of us split up to cover more ground."

With that, the four went their separate ways to find Steve and Vinny.

* * *

><p>Todd decided to look for Steve and Vinny in the Sistine Chapel, where, coincidentally, they just went to.<p>

"_Scusi,_" Todd greeted one of the praying monks in Italian. "_Ha un paio di cani vengono qui __prima?_" (Translation: "Excuse me. Did a couple of dogs come in here earlier?")

"_Sì_," the monk answered. "_Sono appena arrivato a guardare il soffitto dipinto__._" (Translation: "Yes. They just came in to look at the painted ceiling.")

"_Grazie._" (Translation: "Thanks.")

Todd came into the room with the painted ceiling and found Steve and Vinny.

"Hey, fellas," Todd greeted.

This summons has gotten their attention.

"Oh, hey, Todd," Vinny greeted back. "I was just giving Steve here a tour of the Renaissance-Era artwork."

"Yeah," Steve added. "Despite how the ceiling paintings are depicted, this tells the story of how the Bible is told."

"That's nice, guys," Todd said. "But we need to regroup with Brian, Stewie and Scott."

"Wait," Vinny halted. "They're here, too?"

"Yes."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Steve replied. "Let's go."

With that, they left the room.

"_Grazie per averci fatto vedere il soffitto dipinto,_" Vinny thanked the monk. (Translation: "Thanks for letting us see the painted ceiling.")

"_Prego_," the monk replied. (Translation: "You're welcome.")

As soon as the three dogs left the Chapel, the monk then thought, "_Tre cani parlanti? Cosa penseranno accanto__?_" (Translation: "Three talking dogs? What will they think up next?")

* * *

><p>Brian, Stewie and Scott regrouped in an Italian alley.<p>

"Any of you have any luck?" Stewie asked, "I checked Michelangelo's studio. They weren't there."

"I looked in _Raphael's_ studio in Rome," Brian replied. "They weren't _there_, either."

"And it was a no-go looking in _Donatello's_ studio in Florence," Scott shrugged.

"Well," Stewie wondered, "has Todd found them?"

"Why don't you answer him yourself?" Vinny's voice got their attention.

They looked behind themselves and saw that Steve and Vinny were with Todd.

"Not only did I find them," Todd began. "I also got to look at the painted ceiling in the Sistine Chapel."

"That's wonderful, guys," Stewie agreed. "Now, let's find Jasper and New Brian."

"Wait," Brian halted, noticing something. "I see _us_ trying to protect Leonardo da Vinci from Bertram."

Upon that, he saw that Bertram had his arrow aimed at Leonardo, whom their past selves were trying to protect.

"You're about to be yesterday's hopscotch chalk on a sidewalk, Stewie!" Bertram exclaimed. "Erased!"

Scott ran to Brian and Stewie, who were looking at the scene.

"Somebody's got to stop him," he said. "And that someone's got to be _me_."

"You?" Stewie repeated. "But won't that mean...?"

"I know," Scott replied. "But I don't want you guys to know it was me who saved Leonardo. Do you have a costume I can use?"

"Well," Stewie began, "I have this ninja costume I was about to use on Halloween."

"Perfect."

Back to the scene. The past Stewie had just explained everything to Bertram.

"So if you kill me, you're killing _yourself _ and everything else that ever existed or will exist!"

Pause.

"Worth it!" Bertram responded before shooting the arrow.

However, before the arrow would pierce Leonardo, a shuriken stopped the arrow.

"What the...?" Bertram said, surprised.

"Gomennasai, Bertram-san," Scott replied, wearing the ninja costume and approaching him. "Leonardo must live on."

"A ninja, in Italy?" the past Stewie wondered. "That's impossible!"

"Mamma mia!" Leonardo exclaimed. "First talking bambini, then talking dogs, now ninjas? Questo è pazzo!"

The battle began with Bertram trying to land punches on Scott, who easily dodged them. Scott then used a katana to chop Bertram's bow into pieces, effectively ending the battle.

"Totome da!" Scott shouted, aiming the katana straight to Bertram's face. "You're finished."

"Go ahead," Bertram demanded. "Run that sword through me."

"I can never harm an unarmed opponent," Scott disagreed, putting the katana away, "so, I'll spare your life."

"What?" Bertram replied. "After destroying my weapon, you decide not to kill me?"

"You must either be the bravest or stupidest ninja I've ever seen," the past Stewie began, approaching Scott. "But for saving Leonardo's life, I thank you."

"Do itashi mashite, Stewie-san," Scott bowed. "Take Bertram home."

"I will."

With that, the past Stewie grabbed Bertram by the ear, and both babies and the past Brian got on the return pad and disappeared out of Italy.

As soon as the return pad disappeared, Stewie and the other four dogs ran to Scott, who removed the mask from his costume.

"Mamma mia," Leonardo gasped, surprised, "what is going on here?"

"_Va tutto bene, Leonardo_," Vinny assured. (Translation: "It's okay, Leonardo.") "We're on a mission to retrieve a magical artifact and save time."

"Yes," Stewie added. "Otherwise, time itself will be doomed."

"Anyway," Scott began, "it's nice to see you, Leonardo. I'm sorry I used my ninja skills to save you're life."

"It's okay, doggie," Leonardo assured. "Now, I can get back to my studio to finish the _Mona Lisa_."

With that, Leonardo walked away. Suddenly, Stewie felt a little funny.

"I think I'm starting to feel a little younger," he said. Then, he realized, "Of course. Because Leonardo was saved, I never entered the cryogenic stasis device I built, nor have I woken up five hundred years afterward. Thank you, Scott."

"You're welcome, Stewie," Scott replied.

"Wait a minute," Brian began to realize after thinking. "Shouldn't we be fading away by now, Stewie? I mean, if you never killed Bertram, how come the six of us still exist?"

"I don't know, Brian," Stewie shrugged, "but I guess Bertram must have found _another_ way to steal the orb."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Vinny added. "We have to finish regrouping."

"You're right, Vinny," Stewie agreed. "We must find Jasper and New Brian, so we can save the orb _and_ time."

With that, Stewie pressed the button on his remote, and everyone teleported out of Renaissance-Era Italy.


	5. Chapter 5

_The Orb of Time_

_Part III - Return_

by LDEJRuff

Chapter 5 - Regroup and Confront

* * *

><p>Bertram, still in the Griffin house, was busy planning what to do next.<p>

"I never thought that building that device to transport myself into Heaven to steal the orb would be so easy," he said. "If that ninja hadn't interfered with my plans, I wouldn't have existed. But now that I have complete control over time, space and reality, there's nothing anyone can do to stop me."

"Excuse me a minute," he heard Lois say downstairs, "I need to call Brian and ask him how he and the other dogs and Stewie are doing."

Bertram realized in fear. "Oh, crud. That mother of his."

Lois was in the kitchen trying to call Brian on the phone.

"Huh," she wondered. "No answer. His phone battery must have gone out. Oh, well," she shrugged. "I guess I can ask him when he gets home."

* * *

><p>The portal Jasper and New Brian were sucked into led them to a grassy field, with flowers, trees, and a stream of water.<p>

"I wonder where we are," New Brian said.

"I don't know, N.B.," Jasper shrugged, "but I guess this is some kind of paradise."

"Paradise, huh?" New Brian repeated. "You mean like in that post-apocalyptic animated series with the wolves?"

"Yeah," Jasper answered. He breathed in some fresh air. "Can you smell that, New Brian?"

New Brian sniffed. "Hmmm, smells like daffodils. I don't know why Bertram dropped us off here, but it's got a nice liking to it."

Just then, Brian, Stewie, Steve, Todd, Vinny and Scott appeared in front of them.

"Jasper, New Brian," Brian began, "there you guys are."

"This remote tells me," Stewie informed, "that we are in a time where humanity no longer exists, thus resulting in an environment-free world, and with no humans, the flora and fauna are in perfect balance."

"Thanks for the info, Stewie," New Brian replied. "Are you guys here to pick us up?"

"Yes," Vinny answered.

"And now that we're all together," Steve began, "we must get back to our universe, stop Bertram, retrieve the orb and save time."

"You're right, Steve," Jasper agreed. "Let's go!"

With that, Stewie pressed the remote, and all eight teleported out of the field and out of this time.

* * *

><p>Back in the Griffin house, Bertram has succeeded in tying up the four members of the Griffin family.<p>

"Why are you doing this?" Lois asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Bertram answered. "You see, I have complete control over time and space, and with your youngest son out of the way, there is nobody to stop me."

"You won't get away with this!" Peter shouted.

"On the contrary, Dad," Bertram reminded, "I already _have_."

"Wait a second, did you just call me 'Dad'?"

"I did," Bertram answered. "It's all because of the sperm you left in the cryolab, thus resulting in my being born to a lesbian woman."

"Peter!" Lois shouted.

"Dad!" Meg and Chris shouted.

"It was an accident," Peter replied.

"Well, now that it's all in the past," Bertram began, "I can proceed unimpeded with my own plans to take over."

"Guess again, Bertram."

Stewie's voice got his attention. He turned around and saw the eight he did away with. The rest of the family was surprised.

"What the hell?" Lois said. "New Brian, alive?"

"Yeah," Peter noticed. "Todd's back from the dead, too, and he's younger now."

"And Jasper's here, too," Meg noticed.

"It's a long story, guys," New Brian shrugged.

"By the way, Peter," Todd began, "all is forgiven in the whole euthanasia thing."

"By the way, who's the orange dog with the black ears?" Chris asked.

"I'll tell you that, later," Brian said. "But right now, we must fight Bertram."

"So, you think you can stop me, huh?" Bertram said.

"That's right, Bertram," Stewie answered. "You're dealing with a baby genius and a group of canines who are about to save the world!"

* * *

><p>To Be Concluded...<p> 


End file.
